April 2, 2005
MarkBernstein.org
 
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Time Begins

The baseball season starts this weekend.

The 2005 edition of the Malden Mallards starts the year with high hopes and low expectations. We're in an incredibly skilled league -- the very best league in the Stats Inc galaxy for the last two or three years, during which time the Malden Mallards have been firmly ensconced in the cellar.

Rebuilding this year, we tried to get lots younger. Farewell Frank Thomas, hello Dallas MacPherson. Except MacPherson is hurt, so he's in the minors, so we've got a problem, Houston. Our backup catcher is Charles Johnson, whose new position (I don't understand this) is Tax Shelter for the Boston Red Sox. We've got Rocco Baldelli not playing center, Dallas MacPherson not playing 3rd, Adam Kennedy not playing second, and Orlando Hudson not playing second, either. One of our starters (Mark Buehrle) is pitching on a broken foot.

In other words, we seem to have replaced our injured, creaky veterans with injured, unproved rookies.

But nobody is taking any steroids that aren't home made. Nobody raised their ticket prices. Nobody answers to the whims of a foolish, rich real-estate developer.

C: J. D. Closser

1B: Brad Wilkerson

2B: Orlando Hudson

3B: Dallas MacPherson

SS: Khalil Greene

LF: Jason Bay

CF: Corey Patterson

RF: Brian Giles

SP: Pedro Martinez, Buehrle, Arroyo, Marquis, Lima

RP: John Smoltz